Working from Home
I’m not sure about anyone else, but I am sure going un poco loco (a little bit crazy) after working from home these past couple of weeks. And it’s not from all of my computer and IT issues. I didn’t realize a laptop could not recognize it’s own internal keyboard, but hey, you learn something new every day!
And maybe it could be from watching the movie Coco 879 times. Just to make sure that my two-year-old doesn’t scream bloody murder all of the time when I’m on conference calls. It probably has something to do with it.
So at the end of the day, despite getting my work done – I still feel like I haven’t done enough. I feel horrible like I had ignored my kids all day when I have had to continue to push them off on my husband.
To top it all off, it’s been raining here in California, so I can’t even take them outside for a break. And forget about getting one for myself. With everything shut down, I no longer could I go workout, go shopping, or just leave to get a break while at work.
And add to that, normal work stress, and allowing the kids a bit more screen time than you like – just to be able to make a phone call without a tantrum… left me with a bad case.
A bad case of mom guilt.
Not to say that working dads don’t feel the same, but typically most kids will rely on their mothers when they need something. Or at least they do in my household. Either they want to be held, fed, complain, you know the basics. Not to mention, neither of my kids are old enough to understand why I’m ignoring them for half the day.
I’m sure I’m not alone in this new world. I know some parents have it even harder. Having to become a teacher and homeschool as a second job. Yikes! And then your partner working from home too. There’s either going to be a surge in divorce rates or births in the next nine months, can’t really say which one it will be.
The beer virus has changed life so significantly for all of us. That’s why I thought it would be good to write something on how to chase the mom guilt away. I know it’s tough, but we can do it! (And not murder anyone in the process). So I’ve pulled together a list of best practices to eliminate the mom guilt. Hopefully some of the tips will for you and you’ll be able to apply it – to lessen the guilt just a bit.
Working it out – My Realistic Suggestions:
1. Quit Trying to do Everything.
You don’t have five arms. So you can’t do work, watch the kids, cook AND clean at the same time. That shit just isn’t going to happen. So as with most things in life, you have to accept it. And by accepting the situation for what it is, you’ll be able to relax about it all.
2. Call up another Working Mom to Commiserate
Sometimes bitching and complaining to a friend can feel good. Especially if they are in a similar situation as yourself. So make the call, vent it out and hopefully take a load off your shoulders in the process.
3. Act Like a Man!
Yes, sometimes it’s necessary to put yourself first. (As hard as it may be). But men do it, so why can’t we too? Not only is it good for your soul, but it’s healthy for your kids also. So remind yourself it’s just mom guilt, and you can’t do EVERYTHING. No matter how hard you try.
4. Lock Yourself in the Bathroom.
Yeah, I said it. Sometimes it’s the only ‘me time’ you may get. So take an extra five minutes. Take an extra-long shower. It’s incredible what just a few minutes of quiet can do for your sanity!
5. Have a glass of wine. Or a Beer. Or just go for the gold and have some Hard Liquor.
No matter what your preference is, it can always help you to relax at the end of a long and taxing day. I’ve even read liquor sales are up 30% recently in the US, so I guess I’m not the only one suggesting this!
6. As much as I hate to say it – get into a new routine.
Who knows how long we all will be on lockdown. Might as well make the best of a bad situation and adjust your schedule accordingly.
7. Just remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s all your kids can ask for!
What the Experts Say
I’m no expert, but I know what has helped me. And it sure as heck wasn’t meditating for 15-20 minutes. So I gathered some of the better articles and suggestions in dealing with working mom guilt.
Can’t say I could do all of these, but at least she got information from a conference of professionals – How to Overcome Mom Guilt
And a article from Forbest – Letter to Working Mothers
And here’s ones from PsychCentral – When You Feel Guilt Being a Working Mom
Last but not least – How to Master Working from Home Under a Quarantine
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